Experimenting with New Forms of Sexual Play
by Tamar Love

Are you ready to start experimenting with something a little different? Good for you! Variety really is the spice of life, especially when it comes to sexual relationships. Documented evidence exists supporting the theory that humans don't find familiarity and repetition erotic. In order to maintain a healthy monogamous relationship, you need to mix things up, keep things changing and introduce a little experimental activity.

If you think you want to try something new, we recommend the following activities, all of which are great for beginners and can be escalated into more serious play as your comfort level grows.

Oral Sex: While some people might guffaw at seeing oral sex as an item of alternative sexual practices, stop and think about it for a moment. Some people are very conservative in their sexual play, only enjoying intercourse and kissing. If you fall into this latter category, please, don't feel uncomfortable! You aren't alone. For tips on getting started, please see our articles on fellacio and cunnilingus.

Anal Play: If you've never experimented with this form of love play but are curious about it, you very likely feel a mixture of shame, extreme discomfort and arousal when you think about anal play. This is perfectly normal. Our society has long held the anus as taboo, prohibiting any contact with this very sensitive area. However, anal play can be very exciting and satisfying, partly because we tend to become excited by things we perceive as "forbidden," but also because the anus contains a high concentration of nerve endings, making it one of the most erogenous zones on the body. When contemplating anal play, keep in mind that most forms of this arousal don't involve penetration, but rather external stimulation. For more information on anal play, we recommend Dr. Jack Morin's excellent book, Anal Pleasure and Health.

Fantasy & Role Play Have you ever wanted to act out one of your fantasies? Say, swarthy pirate meets helpless maiden? French maid with disgruntled employer? Nurse and patient? Do it! Acting out your fantasies is an extremely healthy way to explore your sexual life. Role playing, taking on the persona of a different person (i.e., French maid, pirate, nurse), is essential to fantasy; by taking on a different role, we free ourselves of our "normal" boundaries, and helps us to discover new things about ourselves. 

Shaving:  More and more people are becoming fascinated with shaving, the practice of shaving your partner's pubic hair; either shaping it into different shapes or removing it completely. Don't knock it until you try it! Shaving is an easy, safe and temporary way to begin exploring different forms of sexual play. In fact, it's becoming so popular, special products like coochy cream are now available to make the formerly messy process easier.

Bondage & Domination Once thought of as "advanced" sexual play, formerly "mainstream" couples are beginning to experiment with light forms of bondage and domination. Think about it -- have you ever tied up your lover? You've tried B&D! Many people also enjoy slipping a blindfold over their lover's eyes during love play, or even lightly spanking their partner's rump with a slapper or hairbrush.

Remember to follow the ground rules outlined in Ground Rules for Exploring Fantasies” in the information provided below, and have fun!                                                                                                                                                           

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